We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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