Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
