no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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