Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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