JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
