your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
