For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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