It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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