I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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