Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize