And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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