I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
