Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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