would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
being pregnant is like rehab
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
