When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
