Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
