he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
