my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
