I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
