I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
