Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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