apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
