You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
