is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
