He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize