porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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