ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize