It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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