Can i not drive my cunt home
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
