i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
