Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
