I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
