I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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