If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
