I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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