Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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