love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize