i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
