Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
