I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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