saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
