Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
