So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
