i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
