even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
