that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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