the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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