Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
