i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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