btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
