I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
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