She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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