What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
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