Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
