My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Randomize
