Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
