Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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