I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
