So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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