I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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