My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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