go do what you do best...puke behind churches
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
